You start analyzing every little detail, you try to change a situation, you start having destructive thoughts about the world, about other people and more importantly: about yourself. Do you recognize any of this? Better yet, do you recognize all of it? Good, it means you’re just as “bad” as me. When I say bad, I don’t mean bad bad as in being a bad person. I’m just saying it’s about bad habits and it’s infecting our lives and our health. There’s an endless list of “bad” things for us and overthinking is one of them.
“It’s all my fault” – No, it’s not
The worst example: blaming yourself. “It’s all my fault”, “I should have done this differently”, “I could have changed it”. No, you need to stop doing this. I’m only saying this because I’m exactly the same. You can blame yourself a thousand times until you start hating yourself. You should never feel bad because something didn’t turn out as planned. This is life. We make mistakes. Life doesn’t come with a manual, saying “this is right”, “this is wrong” or “you should do it that way’. That wouldn’t be interesting, right?
My point is, we make mistakes and we have to learn from those mistakes. Never blame yourself about stupid little things and definitely don’t blame yourself for someone else’s mistakes.
Adulthood is scary – Yes, it is
I think most of us relate to the fact that adulthood is scary. A pain in the ass, to be more precisely. Our childhood is filled with happy memories (or so it should be) and adulthood feels like a nightmare. Why is that? It’s that point in your life where you have to make your own decisions, you’re independent and you have to rely on yourself – and that’s where the insecurity comes in.
Am I doing this right? My friends have better jobs than me, they have a bigger house etc. See what I mean? Why don’t you try to change your perspective? Instead of thinking about those things, focus on the good things. Yes, my friends have a bigger house than me. Yes, they have a better job than me. Who’s “responsible” for this? And don’t say “me”, because you’re not. Your reality might be far from perfect – but could anything be really perfect? At least you have a house and at least you have a job.
Do you hear what I’m saying? Positive thinking, positive thinking and more POSITIVE thinking.
Enough about thoughts. Stop feeling bad. Let’s take action.
6 things you should know (and yes, you should try it)
1. You’re not in control of everything
It’s important to realize this. You’re not the big boss of the world or the most important person in this universe. It’s a silly way of saying this but you shouldn’t feel that kind of pressure. Sometimes you just have to let it be. Let it go. I know, I’m not good at this either because I hate losing control but sometimes you just have to give in a little bit.
2. Try to get your mind off of things
Talk to yourself and try to convince yourself “no, we’re not doing this. Not right now”. What you should know about negative thoughts: don’t let them in – push them away. Go for a walk, even though that’s usually when I start overthinking. On the other hand, it’s good to surround yourself with positive people. Laugh it off, have a drink and just don’t think about those other things.
3. Try to see things in a different perspective
It’s not about this one thing. This one “problem” is not going to ruin everything else. Life goes on and there’s so much more out there. It’s not the worst thing in the world. It could be so much worse. Think about that.
4. Stop thinking about the past and stop worrying about the future
It’s in the past for a reason. Don’t let it ruin your present. The future isn’t even there yet. You shouldn’t be thinking about that just yet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s OK to start making plans for the future but don’t get caught up. Don’t forget to live in the present.
5. Don’t spend your nights laying awake
It’s easier said than done and this happens to me all the time. I think it’s important to change your routine. Put your phone down and try to focus on a good film or a good book. Don’t go to bed if you’re not tired. It will only turn into more overthinking. For me, that’s when my mind starts working. I wish it wasn’t like that but the nights are usually the worst.
6. Take a chance
Just go for it. Follow your dreams. Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith. Don’t think of all those things that could go wrong, think about the good things. Yes, it could be the wrong thing to do but if you never try, you will never know. It could be the best adventure ever. Your life should be the best adventure ever.
Remember: overthinking doesn’t mean “I’m solving my problems”. It means “I’m creating even more problems”. You’ll end up seeing and creating things that weren’t even there to begin with. It ruins your happiness. You deserve to be happy. Remember that.
Last lesson: don’t use life sucks as an excuse. If it sucks, then do something about it.